This week has been a roller coaster. One I'm quite ready to be done with, but know the ride is only just getting started.
I started the week knowing on Monday I'd be getting a report on how Jesse and my embryos were doing. Typically, when not doing a fresh transfer, as many as are quality enough to survive are cryogenically frozen. They will watch until day 6 to see if any more catch up. Last time, after our transfer, we only had one that was good enough to freeze on day 5 and none on day 6. Even though it was the holiday, there is always someone in embryology. I tried to reach out for an update, and come Tuesday morning still hadn't had any news.
Unless there's a problem, the nurses deliver the news as embryology is, well, rather busy with caring for the embryos. Still, obviously, I was getting rather anxious. To put a long story short, I found out Tuesday morning they had only frozen 2. Out of our original 15, and knowing that I had nothing new on day 6 last time, I was floored.
I reached out again to embryology. I wouldn't say I was begging for information, but by then it was all I could do to not have a meltdown. A friend noticed that in my patient portal a new line for "day 6 freeze" had appeared, and reassured me that meant there was more. Finally at 2:30, the answers came! An additional 5 were frozen, and they had been graded very high quality. They were going to make one more check in the morning to see if any of my remaining 7 had caught up. By God's good grace, one of them had. In total, they froze 8, with one left from our previous attempt, giving us 9 chances for a miracle.
Today, however, I'm finding it very hard to feel that joy. My heart is very heavy from the news I read this morning. See, I've met this wonderful group of women on this journey. We are a reasonably small group but we are tightly knit. It has become something of another family to me. We celebrate each others' joys, and our hearts all break together in tragedy. This morning we learned that one of our own went into labor at 21 weeks, and there was nothing they could do to stop it. Her sweet daughter gained her angels' wings.
The idea of leaving the hospital without their daughter, nobody should have to experience that. If you would, please add a prayer for my friend, her husband, and their daughter born too perfect for Earth.
I started the week knowing on Monday I'd be getting a report on how Jesse and my embryos were doing. Typically, when not doing a fresh transfer, as many as are quality enough to survive are cryogenically frozen. They will watch until day 6 to see if any more catch up. Last time, after our transfer, we only had one that was good enough to freeze on day 5 and none on day 6. Even though it was the holiday, there is always someone in embryology. I tried to reach out for an update, and come Tuesday morning still hadn't had any news.
Unless there's a problem, the nurses deliver the news as embryology is, well, rather busy with caring for the embryos. Still, obviously, I was getting rather anxious. To put a long story short, I found out Tuesday morning they had only frozen 2. Out of our original 15, and knowing that I had nothing new on day 6 last time, I was floored.
I reached out again to embryology. I wouldn't say I was begging for information, but by then it was all I could do to not have a meltdown. A friend noticed that in my patient portal a new line for "day 6 freeze" had appeared, and reassured me that meant there was more. Finally at 2:30, the answers came! An additional 5 were frozen, and they had been graded very high quality. They were going to make one more check in the morning to see if any of my remaining 7 had caught up. By God's good grace, one of them had. In total, they froze 8, with one left from our previous attempt, giving us 9 chances for a miracle.
Today, however, I'm finding it very hard to feel that joy. My heart is very heavy from the news I read this morning. See, I've met this wonderful group of women on this journey. We are a reasonably small group but we are tightly knit. It has become something of another family to me. We celebrate each others' joys, and our hearts all break together in tragedy. This morning we learned that one of our own went into labor at 21 weeks, and there was nothing they could do to stop it. Her sweet daughter gained her angels' wings.
The idea of leaving the hospital without their daughter, nobody should have to experience that. If you would, please add a prayer for my friend, her husband, and their daughter born too perfect for Earth.
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